WOW: Santino Marella

Although the Wrestler of the Week is generally reserved for wrestlers from previous generations, Wrestlemania 25 is only days away and I wanted to take this opportunity to show support for the most hysterical man on the WWE roster; the man who hopes to be crowned Miss Wrestlemania...Santino Marella!

You read that right, the WOW Santino Marella has his sights set on becoming Miss Wrestlemania by outperforming 25 divas of past and present fame. This past week on Raw, Santino showed once again why it is still worth it to click on USA on Monday nights. This past week, Santino whipped out the Mankini!


Tremendous. And there will be plenty of hilarious clips to follow, but let me first take you on the brief ride that has been Santino's career.

Santino Marella debuted in the WWE in April, 2007 and won the Intercontinental Championship in his first match, defeating Umaga with help from Bobby Lashley. Santino was initially pushed as a weak face, an alleged "fan" who was pulled from the crowd and capitalized on his chance by winning the IC title. Fortunately for all of us, Santino's potential quickly became obvious and the WWE allowed him to develop his identity. Gone was the boring face persona. In it's place was the possessive, egotistical, can't get an English catch phrase right, down right hysterical Santino Marella; the one we have come to love.

Santino quickly began to make his mark, running down everyone from his own "girlfriend" Maria to Stone Cold Steve Austin. Every time he got his hands on a microphone, Santino would trash someone else. Sure he would also destroy the English language, purposely ruin catch phrases quicker than Biff Tannen and would generally get his ass kicked every time he did it; but damn it got funnier every time out. Here's him and Stone Cold.


Following his time with Maria, Santino briefly feuded with Roddy Piper before first wrestling, then dating, the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix. The duo would form "Glamerella." The formation of Glamerella would lead Santino to his second reign as IC champion. But that wasn't enough for him. Santino set his goals high and wanted to become the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time, surpassing the 64-week title reign of The Honky Tonk Man. The next video clip has a 5-part playlist, showing the hilarious 6-week stretch that Santino held the title and used the "Honk-a-Meter" to measure his success. The "Honk-a-Meter" is priceless.


Needless to say, Santino didn't quite pull off the 64-week streak and lost the title shortly after the last clip. But that didn't stop him and the Glamazon from taking care of business. As you can tell from this next clip, Santino did a helluva job taking care of Batista. Santino does a great Batista impersonation.



Despite only being in the WWE for two years, Santino has held the Intercontinental Title twice and has grabbed the distinction of having the shortest Royal Rumble appearance; he was eliminated within one second of entering the 2009 Royal Rumble. Pretty funny when he screams that he wasn't ready after he gets eliminated.



Santino has been able to get over with nothing more than a unibrow and a microphone. Despite coming out on the short end of the stick time and again, Santino continues to amuse us. Here's to Santino...hoping that he'll be crowned this year's Miss Wrestlemania! Now let's end this week with one last clip, one of the most amusing, it's Santino rapping and calling Akon, who's in the crowd, Acorn.

WOW: Akeem, The African Dream

A few weeks ago, former WWF manager The Doctor of Style, Slick was honored as the Wrestler of the Week. During that article one of his biggest superstars during the 1980s-1990s was discussed. That man is now going to be honored as the WOW. From Deepest, Darkest Africa I present you with: The African Dream, Akeem.

Upon his debut in the WWF in 1987, after ten years wandering around smaller wrestling companies, Akeem wrestled under the moniker The One Man Gang. He was brought into the WWF managed by Slick and had some moderate success. He was on the first Survivor Series show, wrestling on Andre the Giant's team against Hulk Hogan's team. He also wrestled in the World Championship tournament at Wrestlemania IV, losing to the Macho Man, Randy Savage in the Semi-Finals.

On top of all that, he rocked a crazy mohawk and had some killer 'skull and cross bones' stiched onto the shoulders of his full-body black jump suit! That'll intimidate. Not to mention his great entrance theme, which has been featured here before, Jive Soul Bro. I couldn't make this stuff up. Anyway, here is a brief clip showing The One Man Gang squashing Reno Riggins. Jesse Ventura's color commentary during the 2-minute match is quality.



Impressive, huh? But that was only the beginning for our WOW. The One Man Gang, as Slick would point out late in 1988, was actually African and wanted to embrace his roots. An episode of WWF Superstars featured a vignette with Mean Gene Okerlund on-location in an American ghetto that is dubbed "The Deepest Darkest Parts Of Africa". This promo also featured "Mean Gean" and tribal African dancers dancing and chanting around a fire. Slick announced from that point on, One Man Gang would be referred to by his new name, Akeem, the African Dream. This vignette received some criticism, as Akeem delivered a promo in which he spoke with an extremely stereotypical black accent and mockingly danced while an African ritual took place in the background. Again, who could make this stuff up. And, again, Slick's song, Jive Soul Bro makes a brief cameo, blaring from Slick's boom box which he carries on his shoulder! That Vince McMahon is one crazy son-of-a-bitch. Anyway, take a look. The clip is about five minutes long, but well worth it. God, 80's wrestling was ridiculous!



Priceless.

Akeem would form a tag team with the Big Boss Man, dubbed the Twin Towers. The Towers would feud with Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, which led to Hogan and Savage breaking up prior to Wrestlemania V. Although the Twin Towers never won the tag team titles, they were a force on the tag team scene until they split up in 1990. The split would essentially spell the end for the run of Akeem in the WWF. Akeem would join WCW for the next few years, once again going by The One Man Gang, joining the Dungeon of Doom and winning the United States title in 1995. He has not wrestled consistently since, despite a few appearances for the WWE, including being in the Gimmick Battle Royal at Wrestlemania 17, again as the One Man Gang.

Despite his change back to the One Man Gang, his roots as Akeem would not go away. In 2008, he made an appearance at a small wrestling card, teaming with Demolition (I know, scary) in a loss. But the highligt occured prior to the match where opponent Todd Sweeney and Akeem engaged in a "strut-off" set to Slick's old theme music, wherein Akeem donned his old hat and the strut he perfected. Keep in mind he lost a lot of weight following a heart attack in 2000. But regardless it is worth checking out:



Akeem currently works as a prison guard at the Louisiana State Penitentiary. Despite spending about 28 of his 30 years in wrestling as the One Man Gang, Akeem is how we will remember the WOW for this week. Akeem, you came from Deepest Darkest Africa and somehow brought light into our lives. I salute you.

WOW: The Bushwhackers

After a week on hiatus, the Wrestler of the Week returns triumphantly (despite comments made by a certain bad ass marine!). In a weak attempt to make up for the missed wrestler last week, there are actually two men named as the WOWs. These men joined the WWF(e) in 1989 and quickly became one of the most popular teams in the WWF. Although they never won any championships in the WWF, their antics, including their popular walk, will keep them in our memories forever. I give you...The Bushwhackers!


Although they spent half of their careers under the moniker The Sheepherders and were one of the most violent teams in the early 1980s, we're not focusing on that. No. We won't let their past indiscretions tarnish the timeless images of our friends, Luke and Butch, chowing down on some sardines, licking each others faces and walking with that unforgettable Bushwhacker strut. In case you need a little reminder, check it out:



Despite being very popular with the fans, the Bushwhackers were never given a real shot at the tag team titles. They feuded with several teams but always came up on the short end of the stick whenever they were in the ring with a top tier team like the Natural Disasters, The Nasty Boys or Demolition. But that didn't stop the Bushwhackers from remaining very popular and landing a sweet role on the ABC hit sitcom Family Matters! That's right, our boys Luke and Butch ended up wrestling Steve Urkel and Carl Winslow (as the Psycho Twins)!



Other than that "memorable" appearance, the most memorable moment in the Bushwhackers career in the WWF was when Luke made his mark in the 1991 Royal Rumble, lasting a miraculous 4 seconds. Yes...4 seconds:



That about does it for The Bushwhackers, I'll see you next week for yet another unforgettable superstar.

Wrestler of the Week: The Doctor of Style, Slick

Throughout the 80s, wrestling managers played a prominent role in the WWF. During that time, managers were a key element for nearly all of the top heels (bad guys) of the day. When a top star like Andre the Giant turned heel, he was quickly given a manager. And when a prominent heel like Paul Orndorff became a face (good guy) he quickly beat up his manager to make sure the fans would begin to cheer for him. Managers served a key role: they could cut a promo for the wrestlers that just couldn't work on the mic and get the crowd to hate them nonetheless. Several top stars of the 80s owe much of their initial success to their managers. One manager that stands out as one of the best is this weeks WOW...the Doctor of Style, Slick.

In 1986, the Slickster made history by becoming the first African American manager in WWF(E) history. Upon entering the WWF, Slick quickly became the manager of superstars such as Hercules, The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff. However, Slick's skill at cutting great promos not only got his wrestlers over with the crowd, it also made him an instant star. His star power quickly culminated with him recording his own theme song and music video, entitled "Jive Soul Bro." This music video is just pure 80s gold! Do yourself a favor and check it out:





Although Slick managed several other wrestlers including the Bolsheviks, The Warlord and Kamala (as the reformed Reverend Slick in the early 90s), his most high profile clients were the devastating team known as the Twin Towers, The Big Bossman and The African Dream, Akeem. The Twin Towers, along with Slick, were featured in a high profile feud with the Mega Powers, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. The feud culminated with a nationally televised tag team match shown on NBC. Although the match was overshadowed by the break up of the Mega Powers after the match, Slick stole the show prior to the match with a promo in which he revealed his "Law's of Wrestling Dynamics."




Although it is hard to believe, Slick is now currently a minister in Texas. However, he'll always be remembered to me as a Jive Soul Bro!

The Birdman, Koko B. Ware

Koko B. Ware, the Wrestler of the Week (WOW) for 2/23/09! Was there anything this man couldn't do while competing in the WWF in the late 80s/early 90s? Oh that's right, he couldn't win many matches. But regardless of his win/loss regard, Koko B. Ware was one of only a handful of "small" wrestlers that Vince McMahon brought in to the the WWF during that time. Koko had the energy, charisma and look to be a star and has left a legacy behind him that may never die...okay that's probably not true either. But read on as I dig up the highlights of this man's career, both wrestling and "singing", give you a glimpse at his music video Piledriver and finish up with details on where he is now.

First, unlike last weeks Wrestler of the Week, Koko was not brought in to the WWF to strike fear into the hearts of the fans. Unlike most of the stars in the WWF at the time, Koko was "small", standing only 5'8" and weighing 240 lbs. He was brought in, given a pet macaw named Frankie, and was a typical over-the-top babyface. Koko's biggest claim to fame came when he got to sing the lead track on the WWF's PileDriver album. Luckily for all of us, this masterpiece can still be found:



Surprisingly, that knockout didn't land Koko a record deal, so he had to go back to wrestling, which led to more problems. Basically, he wasn't booked very well. His winning ways in the WWF were short lived and he quickly became a jobber, most notably becoming the first wrestler to fall victim to The Undertaker's tombstone piledriver and then losing to essentially every other established heel that the WWF needed to push. Koko was eventually repackaged and paired with Owen Hart, as High Energy. That lasted about as long as it took for me to type that last sentence. But regardless of how his matches turned out, Koko continued to dance to the ring for each match, flapping his arms with Frankis, as always entertaining the kids. Now I don't know about you, but I couldn't help but smile when this came on:




Koko did win the USWA World Title on two occasions and on one of those occasions he defeated last weeks WOW wrestler, Kamala. Overall, Koko entertained for a few good years in the WWF and made a couple of spot appearances since then. Luckily the video for Piledriver will live on forever along with The Birdman! Oh and he now has a new macaw, Frankie Jr. You can catch up with Koko at: Kokobware.net

Ugandan Idol - Kamala

So this is the first blog in my distinguished career as co-owner of PhillySportsPost.com and to be honest with you, it's also going to be the first blog that I have ever read (that is if I decide to proof read this gem). For those that have already listened to the Podcast this week, you have undoubtedly been talking nonstop about my brief, yet extremely well produced and thought out segment cleverly named, 'Wrestler of the Week'. Of course, I prefer to use the the acronym "W.O.W"...as in wow! what a dork.

Any who, during the Podcast this week, I was proud to reintroduce you to the Ugandan Giant, Kamala. Kamala wrestled for 25 years, appearing in the WWF(E), WCW, WCCW and many other independent leagues. He scared the crap out of little kids across the country and battled all the top wrestlers; Hogan, Undertaker, and the Von Erichs.

I proudly reminded you of his handler Kim Chee, aroused terror within by reminding you of the tribal mask that he wore down the aisle while his chilling music played and without a doubt brought a shiver up your spine when I mentioned...his new hit single and album!

YES! He is a singer! Please visit: TheGiantKamala.com in order to get this full experience! If you thought this man terrorized in the ring, please wait until you hear his new song "Have a little drink of wine." Just the thought that this 6"7', 400lb man, with tribal paint on his face, nipples and stomach is on the other end of this gem makes the 30 seconds of music all worth while.

Here's a little sampling of how much of a menace this man was when he was a terrorizing savage in the ring:



Now...well you be the judge:



So there you go. You should still check out his site listed above...you can actually order replica loin clothes! Damn, that would have made a great Valentines Day present!

pAuL